KINDNESS
Taffy had questions for me in her reply to my blog last week--and I'll get to them sooner or later, but I want to remember some things that happened this week.
First off, Taffy's reply happened, and I was struck by her kindness. "Why should she bother to ask how I'm doing?" I thought. It's because that's the way she is--a kind and gentle woman. Our paths have "just happened" to cross. I felt very blessed because she asked. Am I weird to always feel so amazed that I have friends? I'm very grateful for them all.
Second, I heard from Anne this week (Anne of Chesterland, sounds regal, doesn't it?). She emailed me with a bit of news on her trip to Africa, and then I swear we were both laughing over email as we wondered at God's sense of humor and His surprises: her very first mission trip was just a couple months ago, to El Salvador. Now she's been to Africa, and in the spring her church wants her to go to Italy! If anyone had told her a year ago that she'd be in Central America, Africa and perhaps the Mediterranean in less than 12 months, would she have believed them? NOT! "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" (Romans 11:33)
Third, I received a flicker of an email--not much more than a line--"I put flowers on Bruce's grave today--from both of us, since you wouldn't be able to." Here, a special friend remembered Bruce's birthday (10/27) with me. I'd been having dreams about him all week, a couple times his name was on the tip of my tongue when I was about to call Tom. I really do miss him. Heavy sigh. How can I miss him and love Tom at the same time? I don't know, but I do. I love them both. And I know Tom feels the same about his wife Marilyn. You don't just box up your buried spouse as if they never existed. The pain is a tribute. What a shame if I felt nothing, so I'm glad for it. But I'm also glad that on this birthday of Bruce's my thoughts were not "He'd have been 52 this year." What I realized is that he is 52. He's still living, still growing. He's probably changed and grown more than I have over these past 6 years. We'll have a lot of catching up to do someday.
In the meantime, it was a good week here on earth. The kindnesses of friends carried me along, lifting me up before I even knew I'd need a lift. Shortly after Bruce died, "Jewel" had a song on the radio that burned this phrase in my mind: ". . . in the end, only kindness matters . . ." Thinking about "the end" sharpens my focus on life today: in the end, do I really want to be remembered for how I looked, how clean my house was, what my kids report cards looked like, what my political views were, how many years I worked or volunteered at such and such?
Or do I want to be remembered for kindnesses that I would never take credit for, like that of my friends this week, like that of the righteous in Mt. 25: 31-46? Sure, you can argue that one needs to be known for correct doctrine, love for God, standing strong against the world . . . but, in the end, ala Mt. 25:45,46, only kindness matters . . .
"The least of these" are all around us. This week I was one.
Taffy had questions for me in her reply to my blog last week--and I'll get to them sooner or later, but I want to remember some things that happened this week.
First off, Taffy's reply happened, and I was struck by her kindness. "Why should she bother to ask how I'm doing?" I thought. It's because that's the way she is--a kind and gentle woman. Our paths have "just happened" to cross. I felt very blessed because she asked. Am I weird to always feel so amazed that I have friends? I'm very grateful for them all.
Second, I heard from Anne this week (Anne of Chesterland, sounds regal, doesn't it?). She emailed me with a bit of news on her trip to Africa, and then I swear we were both laughing over email as we wondered at God's sense of humor and His surprises: her very first mission trip was just a couple months ago, to El Salvador. Now she's been to Africa, and in the spring her church wants her to go to Italy! If anyone had told her a year ago that she'd be in Central America, Africa and perhaps the Mediterranean in less than 12 months, would she have believed them? NOT! "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" (Romans 11:33)
Third, I received a flicker of an email--not much more than a line--"I put flowers on Bruce's grave today--from both of us, since you wouldn't be able to." Here, a special friend remembered Bruce's birthday (10/27) with me. I'd been having dreams about him all week, a couple times his name was on the tip of my tongue when I was about to call Tom. I really do miss him. Heavy sigh. How can I miss him and love Tom at the same time? I don't know, but I do. I love them both. And I know Tom feels the same about his wife Marilyn. You don't just box up your buried spouse as if they never existed. The pain is a tribute. What a shame if I felt nothing, so I'm glad for it. But I'm also glad that on this birthday of Bruce's my thoughts were not "He'd have been 52 this year." What I realized is that he is 52. He's still living, still growing. He's probably changed and grown more than I have over these past 6 years. We'll have a lot of catching up to do someday.
In the meantime, it was a good week here on earth. The kindnesses of friends carried me along, lifting me up before I even knew I'd need a lift. Shortly after Bruce died, "Jewel" had a song on the radio that burned this phrase in my mind: ". . . in the end, only kindness matters . . ." Thinking about "the end" sharpens my focus on life today: in the end, do I really want to be remembered for how I looked, how clean my house was, what my kids report cards looked like, what my political views were, how many years I worked or volunteered at such and such?
Or do I want to be remembered for kindnesses that I would never take credit for, like that of my friends this week, like that of the righteous in Mt. 25: 31-46? Sure, you can argue that one needs to be known for correct doctrine, love for God, standing strong against the world . . . but, in the end, ala Mt. 25:45,46, only kindness matters . . .
"The least of these" are all around us. This week I was one.
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